Change Your World
Mimi’s Story: How One Woman Is Changing Her World
By: Myriam Avery
07-13-2007
The word “cancer” is a terrifying word, a death sentence. Imagine hearing it in a doctor’s office, from your doctor’s mouth, referring to a part of your own body. Pretty scary, right? Now, imagine hearing it in a hospital room, referring to your three-year-old son.
The words “cancer” and “child” should never have to be associated.
After hearing the words, “Your son has a cancerous brain tumor,” I had two options. Either I lost it or I fought it with all I had. At first, I lost it (what mother wouldn’t). I was crushed and I had to get away from my son’s hospital room.
I had to be alone.
I had to think.
I went to the chapel on the second floor of Cook Children’s Hospital, which has become my favorite place to think and pray. I asked God for strength to carry on. When I left the chapel I heard the sound of a piano coming from the atrium of the hospital. I sat on the floor of a balcony and listened to this angel playing just for me, with tears rolling down my face.
When I got up, I felt empty and lost. But, somehow, the music had left me with a glimpse of hope. My baby needed for me to hold on to that hope, desperately.
A few months before, through my church and a friend’s personal tragedy, I found out about a website where people could keep a journal, reporting on personal health issues or those of their children. Through CarePages, friends and family can have access to daily updates and photos. They even have the opportunity to leave a message. I, then, created Julian’s care page, which we call “Julian’s World”. My family lives in France and Canada. This way, they are right here with us, sharing our journey. Little by little, people heard about Julian’s page and our support system has now grown to over 200 people.
I knew people had a lot of questions about Julian’s prognosis, surgery and treatment but they were too afraid to ask. Strangely their strong but quiet demand for information built up my determination to provide them with everything I could. I was not sure then why I felt so strong about it, but now I do. It made them feel like they were part of our journey, feeling my emotions and knowing what “Juju” was going through. Julian touched so many souls and hearts, and even changed so many lives, that only with God’s blessing could this bond have been created. I just need to remember this when times are hard.
Julian himself is a huge encouragement to me. If he sees me sad, he says “Don’t worry Mama, it will be ok.” And hope comes back even stronger.
My mother in law thought of a creative way to thank everyone for their support. We had wristbands made that said, “Trust God to Beat Cancer” and “Julian’s World.” We gave them out to friends and family, so they could own a little piece of his world and share his story. At that point, someone mentioned that we could sell the wristbands to help with medical bills. A “Julian’s World Fund” network was spreading from here all the way to France, with the help of my family. It is a great feeling to see so many people joining together around my baby.
Most days go by pretty well, full of laughter, kisses, and cuddles – never forgetting a little bit of Julian attitude. Some days, though not many, anxiety sets in, but it doesn’t stick around long.
And to the ones who wonder how I do it, how I keep on going and stay strong, I would answer, my strength can only come from up above, and from the smile of an angel God sent me. His name is Julian.
And remember, NEVER forget to kiss your children goodnight…
For more information on Julian and MiMi, you can visit Julian's site:
www.carepage.com- "Juliansworld"
Resources:
www.reminderband.com
www.cookchildrens.org
Previous Change Your World Posts:
Resources About Inflammatory Breast Cancer
Nicole recently saw a news piece about Inflammatory Breast Cancer, and she wanted to post it on the site, along with some other helpful resources, in hopes to raise awareness about this uncommon type of breast cancer.
Inflammatory Breast Cancer news piece
Article on IBC from AOL Health
www.ibcresearch.org
www.ibcsupport.org
Fifteen Ways to Really Help a Friend with Cancer
By Nicole Johnson
It can be challenging to know how to reach out to our friends and loved ones who need us as they battle breast cancer. And, because there is no guide book for us all to turn to during this difficult process, Nicole has come up with the following tips, suggestions really, on how to help a friend with cancer or anyone facing serious health challenges. Since it is National Breast Cancer Awareness month, we wanted to share Nicole’s ideas with you as some very practical ways to change your world by changing the world of someone you love who is battling an illness.
When it comes to dealing with a friend who has breast cancer, it would be incredibly helpful if there was a book called Suffering for Dummies.
When a friend gets sick we feel so helpless and even a little lost. We desperately want to help, but find ourselves at a loss for what we can do. We would rather do nothing than get in our friend’s way or add to her burden, so sadly we often do nothing. Since, as of yet, no one has written Suffering for Dummies, it’s up to us to figure this out.
First of all, don’t ask your friend what you can do; you know as well as I do that she won’t want to tell you. To really support her, you have to jump and think of creative ways to help. I’ve compiled a list of tried and true tips.
15 Ways to Really Help a Friend with Cancer
- Let her know you’d like to go with her to the doctor. Offer to pick her up, take notes during the appointment or simply hold her purse, and then drive her home.
- Bring food that freezes in disposable containers. Label the containers with contents and reheating instructions.
- Offer to be the friend who will let others know what is happening with her health. You could set up a phone tree or e-mail group, so she doesn’t have to constantly be communicating
- Take her car out, fill it with fuel and have it washed.
- Leave a bag outside her door to fill with her laundry that needs to be done. Take the laundry home with you and bring it back that day or the very next day, cleaned and folded.
- Send a manicurist or a masseuse to her house. Be sure to pay for the service, including a gratuity in advance and let your friend know you have done so.
- Ask if she needs a wrapped gift for her child to take to a birthday party. Go out and buy the gift, wrap it, and get it back to her a day ahead of the party. Offer to drive her child to and from the party.
- See if your husband can take her husband out for golf or invite him over to watch a game. Often no one thinks of the stress a husband carries when his wife is ill.
- Schedule a weekly “pick-up or drop-off” run for things like: dry cleaning, movie rentals or prescriptions.
- Provide her with a housecleaner for a day. Pay the housecleaner and let your friend know you have taken care of everything.
- In her mailbox, leave an envelope of gift certificates or coupons to places that deliver food.
- Offer to help write, address and stamp her thank-you notes. Bring over some pretty stationery and several booklets of stamps . And allow her to dictate some notes, and you can send them out.
- Go card shopping and give her an assortment of occasion cards (anniversary, graduation, birthday, etc.) that she can use. Bundle them together with a nice pen and some pretty stamps.
- Take her kids out to see a fun movie or for ice-cream. She will love knowing they are having fun when she can’t be the one to do it.
- Pick up a grocery bag of “staples” (bread, juice, cereal, milk, toilet paper, paper towels, etc.) and drop them off at her door. Call (or e-mail if the items aren’t perishable) to let her know that they are there.
Clearing Out Clutter
By Amy Cella
Hi. I'm Amy, Nicole's Assistant. Nicole asked me to write an article for our Change Your World section. I have decided to talk about one of my favorite things: CLEARING CLUTTER!! Probably not exactly what you had in mind, but clearing clutter truly "changes my world" and can change the world of others, as well. Nicole's sketch, entitled "What Am I Going to Wear?" gives us a great place to start.
There is a simple little quesiton that paralyzes the spirit of a woman and strikes terror in the heart of most men; "What Am I Going to Wear?"
You may remember this line from the sketch. In this piece, Nicole dramatizes the scenario of how women decide what to wear. Most likely all of us have found ourselves in situation a time or two or twenty! We stand inside our closet hoping for the perfect outfit to pop out and say, "Pick me! I'm the perfect outfit!"
Most of our closets are full of things we haven't worn in years and, truth be told, most likely will not be worn in the years to come. We all have that red dress that we've had for twenty-two years, the suit that we bought last year in hope that it would soon fit, and the outfit we just had to buy because it was such a good deal. So why do we hold onto things? For me, one of the things that prevents me from pruning back my wardrobe is that I don't know what to do with the clothes. When I consider that some of them are almost new and I feel bad just to toss them, it is generally enough to discourage me, and I leave my closet looking, once again, looking overgrown and cluttered.
Dress for Success is an organization that is just we need! Dress for Success is a not-for-profit organization that offers services to help their clients enter the workplace and stay employed. Each Dress for Success client receives one suit for a job interview and a week's worth of separates when she gets the job. The Dress for Success Professional Women's Group program then provides ongoing support to help the client build a successful career.
The benefits of cleaning you closet are many:
--some one could benefit from items you will most likely not use again
--your closet is cleared of the clutter, making room for new purchases
--your mind is free from holding on to all those extra outfits
So, have some fun with it. Invite a friend over for coffee and closet clearing. Set your alarm clock for an hour and see what progress you make! Check out out message board and tell us about your experience.
Life is a classroom, but learning is optional.
By Nicole Johnson
When I was in elementary school, I remember studying what everyone was then calling New Math. I never found out what Old Math was or what in math (or in the teaching of math) had changed so radically as to warrant this demarcation. But as an adult, living daily with all kinds of disappointing shortfalls, unexpected crises, and mountain-like problems has increased my faith and illuminated yet another demarcation in the world of arithmetic. After New Math comes Divine Math: the kind of addition and subtraction (and amazing multiplication) that begins with hard numbers and then ends up with something so surprising and unexpected that it can hardly be called math at all.
In regular math, for example, mortgage plus groceries plus car payment equals checkbook. Hospital charge plus doctor plus $800.00 straw equals insurance. Many people live in the world of regular math; they happily add and subtract to keep life and its sums nice and tidy. Then along comes the unthinkable, unforeseen, or even the insurmountable, and suddenly the math they’ve always depended on doesn’t work anymore. The numbers don’t (or won’t or can’t,) add up, and that nice tidy system falls woefully short.
In regular math, one person cannot feed all the poor in the world. One person cannot cure all cancer or eradicate the devastation of AIDS. One person cannot give all the homeless a place to live or educate all the children of our country. The numbers will never cooperate with us—the problems are too big, too deep, and conventional math, which produces “conventional wisdom,” tells us it’s a fool’s game even to try.
Rarely does regular math encourage, inspire, or motivate us. On the contrary, looking at the numbers, more often than not, serves to discourage us, disappoint us, and even defeat us. This is where Divine Math comes it. Divine Math occurs in all those instances where conventional math fails: when our hearts are broken over our “regular” math difficulties and our souls are longing for something more, something miraculous and divine.
There is a story in the Bible about Jesus feeding a multitude of people who came out to hear him teach. It was late in the day, the people were hungry and restless, but there was no food. Then one little boy offers his lunch to try to help feed 5,000 hungry people. Add it up: two loaves plus three fish does not equal 5,000 people, no matter how many times you try to rework the numbers. Not even Hamburger Helper could make that boy’s lunch stretch far enough. But with Divine Math (our resources plus God’s help), a simple offering by faith can become a bounty that blows up your average multiplication table.
So what could Divine Math do if we utilized it in our own challenges? How does it bring about fresh brewed living?
I’ve seen Divine Math at work in many instances in my own life, but one that stands out very clearly to me is in regard to the work of World Vision. Before I became involved with Women of Faith, I spent years applying conventional math to the problem of poverty in the world. I reasoned, “What good will my few dollars do to solve this huge issue? How can a little bit of money really change the life of a child born into that kind of poverty?” As you might imagine, my questions changed nothing in my own life and only prompted inactivity.
But then I took the plunge, and I committed to sponsor a child. I can’t even begin to tell you the impact of that decision on my life. With our annual World Vision trip, I have had the opportunity to see first hand the way God has taken my meager loaves and fish and turned them into a feast in the form of fresh water and medicine and education. It would never make sense on paper; the numbers would never add up. But I know now it’s Divine Math, and not only am I great believer in it, I’m a continual student of it, as well.
Every day our problems threaten to defeat us. Whether it is our kids, or the bills, or the car, challenges loom above us like Mt. Everest and cast a huge shadow that can create fear, retreat, and despair. We allow the problem to win because we’re mired in the “bigness” of it. But with Divine Math, God brings something to the equation, and it ceases to be totally up to you. In his hands, our resources change. They become more, they are able to do more, and we are humbled, grateful, and completely inspired.
Divine Math will change our world and set us free to change the world around us.